Part-time school and To preschool or not to preschool....that is the question..

[tuner]

We are a family that is considering homeschooling and I'm wondering what other homeschooler opinions are on whether or not we should put our 3.5 year old into a preschool for one day per week. The placing has become available at a place where she knows 2 other girls (her age also) and is for one day per week.

We are looking at part-time homeschooling (i.e. 3 days at school and 2 days at home per week) as I don't agree with sending young children to institutionalised care for great lengths of time whilst young.

We have a beautiful 4 month old DS and I'd greatly love to have some one-on-one time with him and I do wonder at whether what I'm doing at home with DD is 'enough' for her anymore?

So I guess there are a few questions in there aren't there? LOL

Will my sending DD to preschool affect my future plans of part-time HS?
Do any of you experience your children needing more and how do you meet that need? (and yes I know some of you will say you give them more, but I'd love some examples please :D)
It's not set in stone that we will part-time HS, this may become full-time HS, depending on how my journey through the education system progresses, but has anyone had any experience with part-time HS? Successful or not?

If you've gotten this far then thank you....
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!
:)

[Janet]

Have you found a school in your area which supports part-time attendance? Tbh as a homeschooler I don't see the point of preschools or part-time schooling. :lol It's like a bet each way. The things I dislike about institutionalised schooling will still affect your child, just as dramatically, with the added disadvantage of being the Weird Kid who's not there all the time.

[shaestar]

TBH having one foot in each court can be confusing for the child and make them even weirder at school.
Have you thought about a playgroup or regular meet up for your family?

[battlecrumpet]

I do wonder at whether what I'm doing at home with DD is 'enough' for her anymore?Our DS (3 yo) will soon let us know if we're not doing "enough" for him....he starts up with "I'm booooored!" I think if what you're doing isn't "enough" for your child, they'll let you know about it one way or another. If he's booooooored then I suggest a change in activity and at his age, there are a few different topic areas to choose from that he enjoys eg reading / flashcards / making books (literacy); playing "shop" with real or fake money (numeracy); craft; buildling with lego / traintracks; etc. We have no plans at this stage to send him to kindy (or school after).


I'd greatly love to have some one-on-one time with him Is there some other way that you could get one-on-one time with your baby eg do you have a partner who could take your 3yo on an outing regularly, allowing you to spend time with bub?

And if you want your 3yo to hang out with her friends who are going to kindy, maybe there's some other time they could play together instead?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if you're suspicious of sending your daughter into long-term institutionalised care, but you see some benefits in that sort of care, then there might be other ways of reaping those same benefits without sending her into care IYKWIM.

[tuner]

Thanks so much for your replies and your honesty.

I am really frustrated to be completely honest. I find it hard to believe that the education system can't have the flexibility to cater to all learning requirements.
I am also peeved at the responses I've had so far to the idea of HS within various friend and family circles. I honestly didn't realise that HS was such a 'weird' thing to do.
Now I'm even more frustrated because the experienced HS'ers (i.e. yourselves) also perceive yourselves as weird.

Why can't my daughter just be the one who just goes to school Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays?

My DH works a LOT so I am a little apprehensive about doing full-time HS, as I don't wish to burn out etc.....

Hmmmm......feeling all rather confused :(

[battlecrumpet]

I am also peeved at the responses I've had so far to the idea of HS within various friend and family circles. I honestly didn't realise that HS was such a 'weird' thing to do.Oh yeah it's weird baby :D
I think people's reaction to HSing can be just a symptom of their general fear of the unknown. It's not mainstream so they don't know anything about it, therefore they act negatively in order to justify their own (more mainstream) choices. It's a pain in the arse sometimes. Surrounding yourself with a supportive HSing community can help to normalise it for you so you don't feel so weird.

[Ceres]

Big questions you have there Tuner.
I guess my question would be what are you hoping to get out of preschool, and is preschool the best way to meet those objectives?

[Janet]

Many of us are used to weird, we came here from homebirth. Nothing says WEIRD more than that so homeschool is small beer in comparison once you've broken the rellos in with the birth. :lol The great plus of how many of us approach home learning is that the kids learn, we don't teach. I'd burn out way faster trying to keep up a school schedule but I'm great with normal life ebb and flow. We have busy days, quiet days, busy weeks and quiet weeks. We temper it solely to suit ourselves and therein lies why I don't burn out. I hope we'll see you at some group things soon so you can feel more comfy in a community. :)

[Belinda]

I completely understand why you would want to do part-time school. It seems quite attractive to me some days. And I understand the fear of burning out, it has been a big one for me too. I don't have much in the way of family nearby and sometime I feel worried about not being able to have time out. Once I decided to home educate, a few things changed though. First, I stopped stressing about what we were going to do. Second, no-one was surprised - we'd been dithering about for so long everyone had assumed we were going to. Third, I had started to develop a support network, and finally it was attitude. Instead of the huge education issue looming before us, it became a question of the logistics. What made the difference for me is that my DH is very supportive of home ed. So just recently we sat down and I told him specifically what I needed to be able to be the kind of mother I want to be. I was really surprised to find he hadn't realised the things I was worried about. And now we have come up with a plan that has made me feel a lot more positive about it all. Sorting out concrete details have really made a difference to me.

It is a difficult decision, but I have to say, once we made it, things actually got easier.

ETA: Another thing is ditching the school mindset too. So I don't need my time one-to-one to be between 9-5 M-F. My husband takes the children on 'excursions' during the weekend so I get time to pursue my own interests. Or out to dinner so I can have an evening. Sometimes just telling people specifically what you need is enough!

[Janet]

ETA: Another thing is ditching the school mindset too. So I don't need my time one-to-one to be between 9-5 M-F. My husband takes the children on 'excursions' during the weekend so I get time to pursue my own interests. Or out to dinner so I can have an evening. Sometimes just telling people specifically what you need is enough!
Yes I like that! We have a similar arrangement here. I work from home and maintain a really busy life sans children as well as with them as a result.

[Wonder Woman]

I part time homeschooled my daughter last year. The school was a really small indy school which was set up as an alternative to homeschooling. It was great. Other kids have also gone through the school and had no problems with being "weird".

This year, things changed, things werent so easy and a new teacher brought in practices directly in contradiction of their policy (rewards chart when policy quotes Kohn) and nothing I did removed it... so I removed my kids... confusing them greatly.

I guess my point is, that even though the school may be perfect today, things can change. If you have convictions that you arent willing to compromise on, school may not be the right choice, again, regardless of having found the perfect school.

I have actually found that I get MORE me time than I did before, because people now realise I get no break, whereas before, I just had no break, so now I am expected to need timeout. I find this a really strange phenomenon considering I definitely needed a break with three kids under schoolage :lol

[mummabare]

Part-time schooling has appealed to me in the past, but when I'm really honest about it, its because I desperately needed and wanted time out, but with someone who would give my son quality care. Added on top of that, all the shite I was told about socialisation...and it seemed like a win win thing. But when I was honest with myself about the realities of it, I realised that what I was lacking was good support network and the ability to tell people "hey my plate is full, back off".
I'm still learning how to do that last bit ;) but I've really searched high and low for a good playgroup where I felt accepted as a natural parenting mother, and where my son's energy levels were not always frowned on. I've been able to relax since, and these days the thing I like to emphasize to other people is to build support networks..it really does make a huge difference.

Also think the above post is an important one for people considering part-time schooling, things can change. I also think as children get older it may be confusing to have different learning approaches to things like literacy etc. Really it depends on what school you send them too if you part-time, but its something that worth thinking about.

good luck with whatever you decide :)

[Morph]

It sounds to me like you need one on one time with your newbie more than your 3.5 yr old needs preschool. 3.5 is still way too young really. The recent societal expectations of children needing academic tuition from such a young age are at the expense of the childrens experiences of childhood itself. Your little one seeking more out of his day could also be a reaction to the new baby in your home, not necessarily a need for external stimulation. If this is the case, then to send him away from you could cause him to feel somewhat abandoned by you.

Children don't need to be registered for school until they are 6. You have a lot of time up your sleeve still. Could you arrange with your partner or friends or like-minded community members a regular time to help you get the one on one you desire with your wee baby?

[tuner]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

We have since decided to trial preschool for my DD and she has thoroughly enjoyed it so far. We will persist with her attending preschool for now, but if she doesn't continue to enjoy it or if I notice some changes then we can change our minds at any point.

I thoroughly agree with what has been said about an inadequate support network. To my way of thinking, there is no way that I can successfully HS without a firm support network. In my ideal world my DH would work an 8-hour day, instead of his usual 13-15 hour days...however, we agreed that him working hard for a good few years was the only way we will be able to secure our families future. Additionally, his job allows us to move house every few years and we (as a family) really appreciate the experience that this offers our family. We have been able to experience different cultures and meet so many different families. These moves, however, also mean that I will never have a constant community around me to help me through. I do make every effort to create a community around me for each move (the internet is a marvellous thing!), however, as we all know these things take time.....

Anyway - I'm not sure if any of that makes sense to anyone except me!:rolleyes:D

To summarise, I guess we will continue down the path of trialling preschool and continuing to explore part time school. I really don't think we will be worrying about 'school' until she is 6 year old anyway, so as a few of you have said we have plenty of time.

[Ceres]

13 - 15 hour working days.. that's not conducive to family life (or really any kind of life)! Is there any chance this will slow down at any point? Parenting in isolation really sucks.

[tuner]

Ceres - yeah it sucks sometimes, but it really will be short term for us in the grand scheme of our life together. I remember talking to a friend of mine's mother who has 8 children and I was talking to her about how she did it and she said that instead of just having a 'tough year' that now that she looks back over their lives together, it seems to her that they had a tough decade followed by a great decade and so on....

His work hasn't been this busy for such a sustained period before, it's just that we are based in Sydney ATM and it's the busiest and most important project, the next move and project (in 2 years time) should be a bit better.

Thanks for asking though :)

[Janet]

You do have access to ready community via here and JB. Take advantage of it!

[tuner]

Thanks Janet - I'm getting there :)

Just trying to work out where I fit, sometimes I feel like I'm too alternative for mainstream mums and yet too mainstream for the alternative mums....hard place to be! lol

I will be coming to a JB meet soon... :)

[Ceres]

Jbers are a very diverse group - I'm sure you'll fit in :)

[Belinda]

Thanks Janet - I'm getting there :)

Just trying to work out where I fit, sometimes I feel like I'm too alternative for mainstream mums and yet too mainstream for the alternative mums....hard place to be! lol




I know what you mean. I try to just enjoy 'overlaps' wherever I find them.

[zenifa]

Just another thought I wanted to add. This is mainly due to my own experience of my eldest daughter who in term 1 was doing kindy or pre-prep as its called in Qld and I've had some ambivalence about it, but so far she's really enjoying it.
I do have concerns that when we are HSing next year and not attending any type of school or educational instutitution if I will need to 'deschool' DD1 (& ourselves of course!), or even do it as we go this year or at the latest start at the end of this year? Its just something that has occured to me recently, which I should of thought of earlier I guess. Have others had to do this.

Its a bit of conflicting message for her (& also for others that now our strong intention is to home educate) ie she's at kindy but won't be going to school like her kindy peers next year, so why is she there if she's not 'preparing for school'? Obviously in term 4 they will be doing more active 'preparation for prep/school'. She loves the social interaction (she's very sociable), enjoys the structure and has bonded with her teachers, so we're keeping her in because she likes it (if it was just about me & my needs she would be out immediately).

[GreenGully]

I found my son took aaaages to shake off the preschool/childcare grooming for school and he hadn't even made it to preprep yet! It really did have a huge impact on him and he wasn't dealing with peers heading off just then.

[Anarcostar]

I found my son took aaaages to shake off the preschool/childcare grooming for school and he hadn't even made it to preprep yet! It really did have a huge impact on him and he wasn't dealing with peers heading off just then.

Exactly same here too.
T hasn't been in any form of setting for over 15mths and is only just very recently started to "come out if himself" socially.

He still has major self esteem/ perfection issues (eg: when doing something like drawing etc..) which I'm sure developed as a result (or at least partly as a result) of his time at childcare/ kindy ( and very child led centre as well) ... not suggesting that anyone criticized his "work" but he's pretty sensitive and easily absorbs what's around him - like all the "good drawing!" he would have heard showered on other kids there, leading to his own judgements upon himself/ own work. :(

And the other lingering effect of his time in a setting is that unless someone puts on/ sets up an activity for him, he is bored. He struggles to think of something to do and falls back onto wanting screen time. He got used to others directing his learning and without that direction, feels lost. This is starting to get better, but only recently in the last few months.

Thats just our experience :)

[zenifa]

Thanks for sharing :)

[Sarasvati]

Kira was in FDC a couple of days a week for about 1.5yrs, from 2.5 until almost 4. That wasn't even a formal institution like kindy or pre-prep, but she still had to deschool from that! I think it's just a formal mindset that is introduced even in care settings, the crowd control stuff that's designed to make kids more compliant and thus easier to deal with. Also exposure to things that we weren't planning on introducing in an explicit way (like Easter, Santa etc). She's 5.5 now, I think the "deschooling" process took half a year or so. The process involved rediscovering free creativity (instead of directed art and craft), unlearning negative stuff like "naughty" and arbitrary "bad behaviours" (she still comes out with it every now and then but it's less regurgitating a rote line than forming her own opinions of what constitutes "naughty" or "bad" behaviour, always counteracted by me asking why she thinks that), a LOT of acting out as she regained freedoms that she didn't have in care, and others I might not have seen.

[tuner]

Sorry I haven't been back in here for awhile. Thanks for all the continued replies.
She is still really enjoying preschool at this stage and I think that this is primarily because she has a good little friend there and that has really helped her settle in.

Thank you for all the interesting experiences with having to deschool after preschool, that's not something that had really occurred to me and is something for me to think about.
There are a couple of things that I already find hard in the preschool area, not the least of which is adhering to set time-frames and DD not being able to eat whenever she wants and a few other things that bother me. It will be interesting for me to see whether these concerns fester or fizzle.

[LittleBirdies]

...sometimes I feel like I'm too alternative for mainstream mums and yet too mainstream for the alternative mums....hard place to be! lol


Story of my life! LOL

Just want to say thanks so much for posting & being so honest..
New to all of this and finding this thread awesome!

[zenifa]

Just an update. DD1 is due to find kindy in 2 weeks. Its been a mixed experience for us all. DD1 has had times when she loves going and is eager for it and other times when she doesn't want to go - which is usually about not wanting to leave me and her sister. There hasn't been much 'preparation' for school, aside from what has been going on all year - like putting hands up/taking turns to talk, lining up, ensuring they are eating independently (includes opening lunch boxes, getting wrappings off food) and toileting independently (including washing hands etc). We will need to continue deschooling once it finishes of course, but DD1 seems happy to not be going to school next year. She proudly tells everyone she is homeschooling, as is another boy at her kindy. She has a great relationship with her teachers and has lots of friends, and has really blossomed this year, her confidence is really growing.

We are still unsure about whether DD2 will be going to kindy when her turn comes in 2012, as this kindy is moving so it will be colocated with a primary school, expanding (from 1 to 2 rooms) etc, plus we might be well established in our own unschooling rhythm, we might not want to break that and put DD2 into kindy - although when the time comes, I may still consider it, to have time to do stuff 1 on 1 with DD1, as i've been able to do with DD2 this year.

Aside from Sarasvati, I now have another hsing friend who is sending her 2 kids to BIS part time next year, so I can see pros and cons from part time schooling, it definately can work for kids and their families.

[Suez]

Hi I am just wandering how it's all worked out for everyone with the preschool and then deschooling. I am facing this question at the moment. After exploring all the ideas I have finally decided to go with natural learning. If it was up to me the kids wouldn't be going to preschool. However because there has been a lot of should or shouldn't we our daughter has now being open to the option of wanting to go to kinder, and has asked if she can go. I know school does create a lot of personal issues for us and I am only just finding my interests and confidence after leaving 15 years ago. I don't want her to be mad at me later for not letting her go kinder, or if I explain to her why I made the decision will she understand. She is 4 now due to start in Jan and it's 2 days a week.

[zenifa]

Hmmm, well DD1 has certainly spent this year 'deschooling' and although its an ongoing process for us all, she seems to have done really well. By this I mean she still has no interest in going to school, doesn't seem to miss kindy or talk about it much, has lots of opportunities to see friends (schooled and unschooled) and is enjoying the freedom to learn, grow and develop at her own pace, follow her interests etc.

I don't miss the drop off/pick ups and politics of the institution (athough our experience was a good one, it was community owned, run by parents and committee), the cost, getting ready in the morning (lunches and cajoling DD1 to get dressed, etc). Mornings are much more relaxed here which benefits the whole familly, we can follow our rhythm.

I still am in two minds about DD2 going next year, I can see the pros and cons and this article certainly got me thinking http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-stress.html

Y (http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-stress.html)ou can always try it and if you or your child aren't happy you can take them out.

Re:BIS and part time schooling, my understanding is that children have to attend 80% of the time, so that is 4 days/week.

[Suez]

Thanks zenifa! That article was helpful and will be so if she does attend. I guess on the plus side she will be almost 4 1/2 when she starts and it will be 12 hrs a week. I'm not looking forward to the things you mention interior with our rhythm. I guess we can try her out and see how it goes. It's nice to hear that your daughter hasn't wanted to go to school after it, as I have no intentions of sending her there either.

[zenifa]

Glad you found it helpful. Look, from my point of view, kindy isn't bad, there are lots of positives too, so if you and your child both like it, then continue. You always have the option to stop if it isn't working for you. Looking forward to hear how it goes for you both. :)