Tips for deschooling (of parents)

[Kezia]

I'm interested in how those of you who are confident unschoolers actually got to that point. I have read a lot about it, and on the intellectual level, unschooling makes complete sense to me. But I'm still a product of 17 years formal schooling plus controlling parents who expected and valued high "achievement" in school, and as such I'm finding it difficult to change my (irrational) feelings about education.

Just one quick example, on the question of curriculum, and concernd about covering "everything" without schooling: one of my favourite Holt quotes is "We must ask how much of the sum of human knowldge anyone can know at the end of his schooling. Perhaps a millionth. Are we then to believe that one of those millionths is so much more important than another?" Yet I have been reading up on the official curriculum and starting to worry about what we have "missed" - in kindergarten year!

So what do you reckon? Any hints on getting over this sort of thing? Or is it more a matter of diving in and watching what happens?

[Kezia]

OK I've read Sandra's article, which helped a bit.

I guess I'm also interested to know how other parents feel - am I the only weird control freak who has this problem or is it common even around here?

[Sarasvati]

I'm not a confident unschooler ;). I am working at trying to let go of "stuff" myself.

[Janet]

I think a lot of us struggle with it, get over it, then something else confronts us and we have to deal with it. It's remarkably like life in that way, I suspect. :lol I, like you, feel intellectually that natural learning is logical and fits with my previous take on parenting as well and I confidently expect as a fully schooled and universitied individual that sometimes stuff will pop up and I'll have to deal. :)

[~*heket*~]

It's hard for me on some levels too. I've spent 6 years sending my daughter to school, plus my own history (both parents were teachers)! So we're slowly creeping down that path and staying within our comfort zones to a degree and pushing the boundaries to a degree at the same time. My goal it to be fully unschooled (atleast in my daughter's life) by next year. But, I have to follow her cues and not push too hard or she'll freak out at this very early stage (we only took her out of school 2 weeks ago :lol)

[SandraDodd]

When Kirby was five, I had a print-out of "Expected Competencies K-3, Albuquerque Public Schools." I would look at it every week or two and check off the things he knew. I wasn't "teaching him" and yet his list was filling in.

The next year, when he was six, I kept forgetting to look. Every few months I'd remember. He was ahead on most things, and behind on some.

I figure EVERY kid, every human, is ahead on some things and behind on some, if we set averages or expectations. So that calmed me totally down and I quit looking at the lists after that.

[Ayla]

I wouldn't say I'm a confident unschooler, but I'm confident in my decision to unschool my children. As a new mum I toyed with the idea of homeschooling and then when we started JL I was exposed to more unschooling families which planted the seed. After lots of reading (mainly of personal accounts like the blog post about the boy who did a year of high school after having unschooled his entire life and not only kicked arse in all of his subjects, he was a lot more mature too) I was pretty sold on the idea! :lol I enjoyed the Unschooling Handbook, the Unschooling Unmanual, Sandra Dodd's website and what I read of the Unprocessed Child.

[~*heket*~]

It'll be interesting for me to see my son's pathway, who has never been imprisoned vs my daughter who was imprisoned for nearly 6 years.

[Ayla]

Yes that will be really interesting!

[~*heket*~]

Today he is unschooling his way through some violence issues :lol I should probably smack him to teach him not to hurl stuff at his sister. Or should I chuck stuff at him. Gee! It's all so confusing :shrug

[Ceres]

Like everyone else, I have a moments where I doubt myself, but when I look at how well he's doing chartering his own learning path it is reassuring! I imagine I'd struggle a lot more if I had a child who wasn't reading and wasn't interested in it. As it is he's way ahead of the level that would have been expected from him at school this year anyway.
I also haven't ruled out doing some semi-structured work like unit studies in the future if I see a need for it.

[~*heket*~]

It's amazing how ingrained school is as our lives. Even when we totally disagree with the methods used in schools and can list their failings without blinking, we still have doubts about our chosen method when we have thought long and hard about it. Ykwim?

[Ayla]

:bump